Question:
I know that when you do something wrong you have to "do teshuvah"
(repent) and "its never too late to do teshuvah" and all of that, but how do you
know when you have been forgiven? Or does the guilt just go on and on?
Answer:
Getting forgiven is great. But the real question is, "How do I clean up my
mess and get on with life?"
As soon as you regret what you did and resolve that it will never happen
again, you are forgiven. You say out loud, "I did such and such right in front
of You (because everywhere is right in front of You) and I really regret it and
I won't do it again." That's called Vidui. If you say it and you really
mean it, you're past it.
Just cleaning up your mess and getting back to where you
started, is a real waste of a good sin...
But you're not over it. It's like getting sick: The doctor can prescribe
powerful antibiotics to knock off the bacteria or perform surgery to remove the
malignant tissue. But even after that, there's still a lot of time left for
inflamed tissue to heal and the body to recover.
So, really, there are three steps:
- Forgiveness
- Healing
- Health
...or think of them like this:
- Get past it
- Get over it
- Get it
Healing--getting over it--begins when you do something to clean up the mess
you've made. What heals a spiritual messup? Once upon a time, it was by fasting.
Today, fasting just makes bigger messes. Even in the time of the Talmud, those
who were weakened by fasting did not fast--all the more so today.
Thats aside from the "holy roller" phenomena you may have observed--that
those who fast and do other such holy stuff can't help announcing it to the
world and believe that they've become elevated spiritual beings beyond the rest
of us. That's not healing--that's messing up further.
So today the best way to bring about healing is with lots of tzedaka (aka
"charity"). Generally, a Jew is obligated to give ten percent of his profits to
charities of his choice. So teshuvah means going beyond that. Even better--go out
there with both your feet and do something good for someone with both your
hands. Now that's teshuvah. You’re at Healing. But not yet at Health.
It's said that G-d created the
possibility of sin in order to make teshuvah ila'a ("higher teshuvah") accessible
Health is a whole new level where you’ve never been before. It's when that
mess-up in your past drives you to greater heights with a surge of unprecedented
energy. Your Torah study, prayer and mindfulness in life are inspired and driven
by the thirst of having once been distant and now drawn close to the Light. This
is called teshuvah ila'a--"higher teshuvah." It's said that G-d created the
possibility of sin in order to make this accessible.
In other words, just cleaning up your mess and getting back to where you
started is a real waste of a good sin. The whole point was to drive you further
and higher. Because everything in life has purpose.
If so, the question is not just, "Did you get over it?" but, "Did you get
it?"1
